Motherhood...part 47

So, I have been made aware (thanks Joanne) that I have not been posting actual words lately. That would be because I tend to be fairly wordless these days- I can't decide if I should post the feelings of joy I get from my kids, the wonderful little people they are, or if I should post the horrifying difficulties that we face daily over here in love-ville. So, to keep it real, we are all alive and happy but thing have not been going smoothly. In the last month we have passed around a stomach flu and I have had a gallbladder attack (do not recommend!). We have entered into the phase of having two little boys- instead of nursing to comfort, I am now holding both boys while they simultaneously try to pry the other off of me. Beau has had his usual 'issues' (aka personality disorders- a therapist shouldn't joke ;) and does things daily like refusing to get out of the car, losing his mind when you open a baby gate for him- he wants to do all things by himself and generally being challenging during transitions and times when he is getting 'regular' attention (like a mom at school saying 'hi Beau). So- I have the rude kid. Ah well. He is wonderfully curious, self-motivated and kind- he just hasn't quite figured out the whole 'regulating your affect' thing. I'm making myself gag now. Leland on the other hand is growing too quickly and he now seems to have ideas and "preferences", so often the lone Mama is overwhelmed by their unhappiness that things are not just quite right. Still, this is the most amazing time for them as people. They are beginning to talk privately and to comfort each other. This morning I gave both of them two candycorn and Leland spit his out, shook his head 'no' and said 'here Beau' and Beau said 'thanks baby.' They are tiny successful little people who flunk daily and I am grateful for most moments and humbled at the job of figuring out what is best for these people. Ah well- I love them enough and give them enough boundaries. Otherwise they interrupt, chew with their mouths open, jump off of everything (have we been to your house?) and I like them to be just as they are. If nothing else, 'first do no harm' hah!